Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
He kissed a someone with a penis
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
