I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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