i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
