now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm drive I can fine osifer
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
