haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
We need a shit load of segways right now
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
