He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
