Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
