Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
