better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
