Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
how do flat chested girls get laid?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Randomize
