Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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