I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
