Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
