did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
