Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
