I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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