i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
PANTIES FOUND
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