How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
