I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
