All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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