and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
