I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
