Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
