that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
