He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
