just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
