You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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