The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
