i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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