Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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