do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
