If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
