Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
