ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Michael Bay diarrhea
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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