His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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