I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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