For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
