R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
