I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I could make wine with my vomit
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
