is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
