: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
