Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
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