Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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