I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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