Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
