Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
