I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
