butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
