turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
