I just saw a hot homeless man
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
